Get in, loser, we're going to Oregon!

 

The good news is I've made it to Oregon and back. Bad news is the wagon exploded not forty miles from Independence, taking out our stockpile of food and almost all of our clothes. Good news is I'm a wealthy banker and replaced most of it once I made it to Fort Kearney. Bad news is this cleaned me out and then I lost some of it crossing the Snake Valley River. In any event, we barely made it before winter, surviving the last stretch on a diet of whiskey and raw squirrel meat.

Well, wouldn't you believe it - upon arrival, I got a telegram from New York. I've been issued a margin call! Leaving my family behind, alive but broke and teeth falling out from scurvy, I trekked back to Missouri to sell off my beloved llama pelt collection before the prices crash. Now, with $400, a frozen credit line, and an empty wagon, I'm making the return trip.

Long story short - I need volunteers for a "farmer mode" AAR. This is purely non-interactive, so all you need is to post from a non-anonymous account. First four commenters get a seat in the next covered wagon. Anyone after that will be an alternate - things happen on the trail.